Knowing Him · Marriage

A Gift for Husbands: Respect


Since Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I thought I’d share this.

For those who has been married for any length of time, it’s no secret that marriages need nurturing!  I’ve heard somewhere that a marriage is like a garden. It takes constant and consistent effort to plant, water and prune to make it thrive. If left untended, weeds grow, thorns choke out the life and the beauty fades. Instead of harvesting love, joy, passion and intimacy you reap anger, bitterness, complacency and indifference.

One thing I’ve come to learn that my husband needs from me – and I believe scripture makes it clear that all men have this in common – he needs my respect.

…the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

If you look at its definition, you see that respect is both a noun and a verb. So, I need to be respecting my husband in word, thought and action.

Different men feel respected in different ways. To find out how it is my husband feels respected, I did something…something that I’m convicted I need to be doing more often…I asked him!

Here are the questions I asked:

What are some ways you feel respected by my words?

What are some ways you feel respected by my actions?

What are some ways you feel disrespected by my words?

What are some ways you feel disrespected by my actions?

After asking him, he then asked me.

I cannot express the value of this discussion. These questions ushered us into some true, deep and intimate conversation.

I encourage all couples to engage in similar communication, FREQUENTLY! Approach it knowing that some of the response you receive may sting a little, but it’s healthy.

We can’t be afraid to examine each other in this way. In fact, we should be afraid not to.


13 thoughts on “A Gift for Husbands: Respect

  1. Well if anybody got a lot out of the conversation, it was me!!! Being selfish is easy, but loving and respecting your wife as Jesus loved the church is a much greater task. I am convinced that the only way to do this is to ask her needs and desires, and fulfill them as we try to seek Christ TOGETHER, not on our own separate paths. As we are one in marriage, we should be as one in our walk with God to some extent. Thank you wife for being the best lady a guy could ask for! I love you!

  2. Mr and Mrs Allen 🙂
    Ran across this in my fb memories and once again I will share this.
    Wise words and, better yet, wise actions.
    Happy Valentines Day to you two ❤
    God Bless and Keep you, Kim

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