Discovering Beauty · Knowing Him

My Battle With Bulimia

Megan at BeachIt started when I was in Jr. High. One of my good friends had started losing a lot of weight really fast. When I asked her how she had been doing it, she replied “follow me”. She then took me into the bathroom and showed me how to…well, ya know. I then tried, and success.

Little did I know that was the beginning of an addiction that would consume nearly every area of my life. My time, friendships, emotions, energy.

Through most of my Jr. High, and a portion of my High School years, this was my obsession. The way for me to feel like I fit the worlds beauty mold.

I would like to say that once I became a Christian after High School the bulimia went away, but it didn’t.. that once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my sense of identity and value in Him came rushing in like a title wave…

…it didn’t.

After I began my walk with the Lord, the bulimia came back. This is when battle begun. My flesh and the Spirit were waging a mighty war within me.

Previously, I didn’t have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside convicting me of sin, but now I did. Even though I was not willing to admit it at the time, this was stealing the life that my Lord and Savior died to give me. A life of peace, joy, love and freedom.

Not many people knew. I hid it very well. I was very involved in the worship team at church…I was working at church! I kept myself busy with the motions. It wasn’t until a good friend caught word that something was going on that a change happened. He was not afraid to speak truth to me. Told me I was living in sin and needed to repent.

I did. The battle was won.

That’s not to say that there was no longer any temptation, but I was better equipped to fight it, knowing ‘who’ it was coming from.  Today, after multiple victories over the enemies efforts to bring me back under this bondage,  I stand in freedom.

So with this, there are four different things the Lord taught me.

#1 Even as Christians, we are never far from sin.

#2 In our sin, we are never far from forgiveness.

#3 Be bold in relationships. Don’t assume a person is strong in their relationship with the Lord based upon the motions they go through. Get real and invade each others lives.

#4 The world does not define true beauty.  I’m still learning how to keep this in my heart and not just my head.

Other than my salvation, this is one of the greatest stories of God’s grace my life has journeyed. Was it hard? Was it painful? yes!

Was God there with me? Did He walk with me through it? Did He provide His abundant strength to overcome? Did he cause spiritual growth and maturity? Did He use this for my good? To cling to Him in ways that I had yet to? To cause me to trust Him? To show me how much He loves me and cares about the little intimate details of my life?

…a big resounding YES!!!

He is good! He is faithful! He is worthy!

16 thoughts on “My Battle With Bulimia

  1. We need to hear each other’s stories, Meggo! Thank you for sharing! In this ever increasing “grey” world, Truth doesn’t like to be defined. 😦 I believe hearing one another’s personal struggles with sin and how we have overcome/are overcoming shines brightly to those around us and paves a beautiful road for God’s Word to be welcomed or explored. It isn’t easy, but God never said being a disciple was, in fact, the direct opposite. It’s all for His glory and our good. Love you! Keep up the good fight! 🙂 Hugs!

  2. Victory in Jesus how sweet it is……….He never gives up on us……….even at 70 something He is willing and able to deal with the sins I hang onto and grow me deeper into Him. Oh, dear one, the freedom, the ability to breathe deeper is oh, so sweet, yes?
    thank you for the courage to share that I may continue to press on

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this. I love you and hurt that you were hurting and I didn’t know it. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise His Holy Name. xo

  4. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE TO SHARE…. I always known the HAND of God over you, how amazing is HIS grace. You are beautiful and special. I love you Megan.

  5. My faith is not shallow, because I’ve been rescued from the deep. Megan, this is my Twitter byline because I was diagnosed with bulimia and anorexia nervosa in 1983. It’s been 30 years since I recovered, and I’m still amazed and thankful to be free.

    Recovery stories like ours encourage others not to give up.

    Blessings ~ Wendy ❀

    1. Amen! Freedom is so sweet, isn’t it?!?! Thanks for sharing with me. I love getting glimpses of others encourages and blesses me. God is so good and faithful to rescue us out of these deep places. Blessings to you! ❤

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